Falling in love is the most beautiful, intimate and spiritual bond you can share with another person. It’s full of wine and roses and hope and dreams. And then, reality hits. Love isn't sustainable without some work. Falling in love is easy with some people but maintaining the love is where the difficulties start. Some people people are good at starting a relationship, and as time goes on they become bored, uninterested and start neglecting the very relationship they once professed to love and cherish. Love takes real work, commitment and a decision to keep loving your partner no matter what the differences are... Well you might say "It's easier said than done" there wait a minute, there are people who after 10-20 years are still in love, so it's achievable. Breakups just don't happen, there are made to happen, either through neglect, indifference, not doing the things that started the love in the first place or just inevitable reasons.
Here are some of the pitfalls of why people fall out of love and tip to avoid them.
1. You do things separately – It’s fine to want to spend all your free time with your significant other, you just shouldn't actually do it. Tip: Enjoy your time apart, don’t resent it. In order to have a sustaining love, it needs a break every once in a while.
2. You go to bed at different times – If you and your partner go to sleep at different times and wake up at different times, you’re living two separate lives. Tip: Agree on a time to retire to the bedroom at the same time every night. Even if you don’t fall asleep, you will benefit from the time together.
3. You grow apart – As two people grow together, one may be moving at a different speed then the other. Tip: Check up on each other often to make sure you’re not only on the same path, but are traveling at the same speed.
4. You start a family – First comes love and sometimes marriage and then a baby in the carriage. The scary thing about this pitfall is couples are so involved in being mommy and daddy, they don’t notice they've fallen out of love until it’s too late. Tip: Schedule time to just be a couple.
5. Your priorities shift – Couples share similar priorities. That is how they become a couple, priorities shift. Tip: If your partner’s priorities shift, before you give up, look at yourself, maybe your priorities have shifted, too.
6. Your partner doesn't live up to expectations - When you feel in love, you shared ambitions and swore to support each other. Fast forward a year and he or she is in the exact same place they were last year. You look at them and it hit you, this isn't the person I thought they were. Tip: No, he isn't the person he said he was, but take a close look at his actions and I bet they are exactly who they were. See if their ambition matches actions and then adjust your expectations accordingly.
7. You fail to share each others dreams – This is the hardest to overcome. When you fall in love, you create and fulfill dreams together. If your partner stops sharing or even worse, doesn't include you in their dream, you need to figure out quick whether this relationship is salvageable. Tip: Put it all out on the table. Find out where he stands and let him know how you feel. Break it down into parts and see if you can put the pieces back, together, to create a new dream.
If you've fallen in love, odds are, you have fallen out of love, as well.
Recognizing the reasons your past relationships failed can help you avoid the pitfalls in the future. You may not have the same relationship you thought you had, but you will have one with a better chance at lasting and making you and your partner happier in the long run.
If you're in love with a man who is hard to pin down, afraid of commitment, and expects you to do all the work in the relationship, here is something you can do to change things - Make Him Desire You